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Saturday, October 1, 2016

My Story And How I Developed Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and PTSD

I was not always as happy and positive as I am today. I grew up in a chaotic environment. My father was severely abusive both psychologically and physically. All through school I was picked on and bullied. In my 9th grade year, I was attacked after school by about twenty kids. This left me bruised and broken. I later dropped out as a result. 

As you can see this is a recipe for severe mental illness and a life full of problems. Later I was diagnosed with anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social phobia and post-traumatic stress disorder. 

I was prescribed many medications over the years that either didn't help at all, made my symptoms worse, or just masked my problems. Soon after I gave up on prescribed medications, I made some of the biggest mistakes of my life.

Since the drugs the doctors gave me weren't helping, I decided to mask my problems in another way. I began self-medicating by abusing drugs. This is a huge mistake. While they did help me escape my problems for a short time, it was a fake, short-lived, escape. Whenever I couldn't acquire the drugs, the old, unhappy me returned, in most cases much worse than I was before. This lead to my next biggest mistake.

My drug addiction led me to do something out of desperation that I would've never done otherwise. I went to the hospital complaining of symptoms I did not have, in order to acquire medication I did not need. While it did work, I wasn't happy with the amount of medication they prescribed. I altered the amount of pills then contacted my mother to take me to the pharmacy. When we arrived I handed the pharmacist the prescription and she told me it would be ready in 20 minutes. Fifteen minutes later a police officer arrived. 

I was being handcuffed in front of my mother. No mother should have to witness this happen to their child. That's when I hit rock bottom. Later I was sentenced to 17 months in jail.

My first few months in jail were filled with anger and hatred towards all those I blamed for the way I was. It's a common victim and blame game we all struggle with from time to time.

Eventually, I started attending church on Sunday's to escape all the noise and madness on the block once a week. I was not a religious person and I'm still not. However, I'm a firm believer that church can be great therapy when needed.

One of the most important lessons I learned in my path to healing was the power of forgiveness. This was the start of what led me to become the person I am today.

Once I learned to let go of hatred and grudges, my mind started to shift in the right direction. It took some time and mental exercise, but with persistence, I slowly began letting go of things one by one. I already started feeling better about myself. While this was just one of many lessons I needed to learn, it was my first step in the right direction.

Soon after I was released, I began studying all kinds of things. I studied a little of everything from psychology, self-development, various beliefs and religions, and some deep studies on how the human psyche works as well as some theories. In my opinion, these are some of the most valuable things everyone should learn more about.

I think when we over consume content about the problems and symptoms of our illness, we tend to just bring on more problems rather than fix the main issue.

We should be constantly consuming content that will help improve our lives and minds. We should almost become obsessed with our happiness and goals, rather than over obsessing over our problems.

This is all what drove me to start this project. I want to share what I've learned with you. I've been symptom-free from all my mental conditions for over two years. I would like to help you do the same.

You don't have to accept that this is the way you have to live forever.

You can change your life!

Feel free to comment any helpful tips you may have come across.

Thanks for visiting,